Ice, Ice, freak

The useless info entry...

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 16:49:19 GMT

This entry will be a place to put quiz results, interesting mumbojumbo and all those anoying things that I don't want to fill my journal with, but still want to have.

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<font size="+2">After you die...<br />Heaven</font><br /><br />
After death, you will exist in heaven. Everything and everyone you love will constantly surround you for all of eternity. You lucky scoundrel.<br /><br />
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<a href="http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=81">Take this quiz</a> at <a href="http://www.quizgalaxy.com">QuizGalaxy.com</a>
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Happy New Year!

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 13:07:34 GMT

Just wanted to congratulate you all on surviving the year 2005.

Last night was nice:) We ate at home and then we took our daughter to my parents. She slept there because we were going to go to party's and stuff.

After dropping her of we stopped at one of the bonfires and took some pictures.

Then we went home and watched the yearly comedy show and got ourselves ready.

Next we drove up to a place above the city and took some pictures. There we met a group of mormons and since we had a truckload of fireworks we shared them with them. Quite a nice moment, the heathens bringing joy to the mormons, and all being merry. Of course we didn't tell them we were heathens but I did reject an offer of a pamphlet. It was nice, really nice.

Then we went home and decided we were to lazy to go out. So we went to sleep.

It was nice, nice, nice.

I like this new year, what I've seen of it. Now we are going out for our annual Chinese food. Picking up our little angel first of course.

Hope you all had a nice last year and that this one will bring luck and good moments.

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 01:26:20 GMT

Saw this at theloa's journal and went right ahead and stole one for me.

In the year 2006 I resolve to:

Sing like
no one is around, all the time!

Get your resolution here

For those moments when you are depressed. My remedies.

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 20:18:54 GMT

I was answering journal entry today. It was about what I do when I am feeling depressed. I thought I'd put it here for later times.

The thing I do is find an old memory, a nice one, like drinking tea at grandmas or something and just try to relive it to the max. It's not a cure, but it takes your mind of it for a sec and helps me kind of get in touch with that warm core I need sometimes. Usualy I'm not a mushy person, but I feel sometimes I need to get in touch with my core.

Nature does it for me too, going outside and watching the moon, going for a walk in a quiet place, or with a cd player.

Notice the litle things, detail of leaves and such. It's incredible what it can do for you.

And lastly I have two good rituals I use some times... They may sound silly but they work like magic ;) Actually that is all there is to magic folks...

SPELL OF THE MONTH

From our earliest beginnings as a species, we have recognized the healing and purifying qualities of water.

Immersion in water has always been a sacred act, as cleansing to the soul as to the body. In ancient times wells, lakes, and rivers were considered sacred, and people would immerse themselves to release negative energy, help heal spiritual blockages or imbalances, and prepare for ceremonies. Even today Hindus immerse themselves in the sacred Ganges river as an act of both spiritual and physical cleansing.

This spell is in the form of a ritual bath. A ritual bath is not for physical washing, but for meditation and to effect changes using the energy of the water and whatever may be added to it. This particular bath is for cleansing and blessing.

For this spell you will need:

· a bath tub

· a handful of salt

· a handful of dried Rosemary

· a handful of dried Sage

· white candles, as many as you wish

· a mirror -your bathroom mirror is fine

· oil

Sea salt is preferred, but any kind of salt may be used. The herbs may be added loose to the water, or you may tie them up in a square of cheese cloth for easier clean-up afterward.

It is not necessary to use candles, but are beneficial and will help to create a conducive atmosphere.

If you have access to it, a fragrant essential oil is preferred. Essential oils may be purchased at metaphysical stores, but also at bath shops or stores that carry aromatherapy products. A good oil to use would be Sandalwood. If you do not have access to essential oil, any oil can be used, especially Olive oil which has a long history of use in sacred rituals.

Pick a time when you will not be disturbed. Have all of your materials together.

Run a tub full of warm water. The water should be comfortable, so adjust it to taste.

While the water is running, add the salt, Rosemary, and Sage.

If you are using candles, light them and turn off the electric lights.

When the bath is ready, take a moment to ground and release, as you have learned how to do in the Exercises section of this lesson.

Now make a prayer, both to ask the help of Goddess, and to help set your intent. You can use words like these:

“O Mother Goddess, help me to cleanse myself now of all that holds me back or blocks my growth and progress. Help me as I embrace my fullest potential and I open my heart to growth.”

Now get into the water.

Rinse yourself thoroughly, so that every part of your body gets wet, including your face and hair.

Now lay back.

Get comfortable.

Let the warmth of the water soak into you.

Take a few moments just to appreciate the sensation.

Now reflect upon your life.

Think about every part of your life that has ever held you back in any way. Every pain, sorrow, and anxiety. Every fear, hesitation, or self-imposed limitation. Review every painful memory, every event that ever hurt you. Be as thorough as you can.

And as you think of each thing, make an affirmation to yourself and to the Universe;

“I release this. It leaves me now.”

You can say these words, or words to this effect, out loud, or concentrate on them silently.

Release each and every issue that holds you back. When you cannot think of any others, augment your efforts with a prayer like this;

“O Mother Goddess, look within my soul and help me to release whatever remains that I have not seen.”

Now clear your mind. When thoughts come, do not respond to them, but let them drift right back out of your mind.

Meditate this way for a few minutes. Let the Goddess look inside you. Remain this way as long as you are comfortable.

Now rise. Stand up. Think of all the things which you have released. Affirm;

“All that I have released, I leave behind me. May their energy return to the Mother to be reused.”

So saying, step out of the tub.

Do not dry off -let the air dry you, as you continue the spell.

Look into the mirror. Examine the face that stares back at you. Remind yourself;

“This is a good person.”

Mean it. Tell yourself;

“I love this person. This is the child of the Goddess, whom She loves.”

Now take up the oil. Open it, and dab out a little onto your fingers.

Reach down and annoint the top of each foot with the oil. Affirm;

“Blessed be my feet, that I may walk in sacred paths.”

Now dab a little more oil onto your fingertips. Anoint both knees. Affirm;

“Blessed be my knees, that I may kneel at the altar of the Ancient Ones.”

Now get a bit more oil for your fingertips. Anoint your pelvic region (just above your pubic area, or where you please). Affirm;

“Blessed be my womb/penis, that I may bring forth life, and art, and joy.”

Place a bit more oil on your fingers. Anoint the center of your chest. Affirm;

“Blessed be my heart, which is formed in beauty, that I may love and receive love.”

Now take a bit more oil. Anoint your lips, and affirm;

“Blessed be my lips, that I may speak the Words of Power in time to come.”

Finally, take a little more oil, and anoint the very center of your forehead. Affirm;

“Blessed be my Mind’s Eye, that I may see the unseen, and receive the messages of Spirit.”

Now look into the mirror, and speak words to the effect of;

“In the name of the Goddess, I am blessed. Like a flower I shall open and grow. May all that I have released be replaced with the love and blessings of the Mother. So mote it be.”

You have now finished. Clear and release all excess energy, as you have learned to do.

You may feel an immediate difference from this spell. You may not. It can sometimes take days for the effects of the spell to become manifest. They deepen with time.

Not every aspect which you have released will necessarily disappear completely. You may have to go back and do additional healing for some. This is normal. Sometimes releasing works in layers, with each successive ritual releasing a little bit more.

And above all remember, practice makes perfect. If at first you have trouble with some aspects of the spell, such as the meditation or the concentration, do not be discouraged -practice! Skill is built through use.

Tree Hugging 101

Copyright © 2001 Jaz Gordon

Hugging a tree will leave you feeling grounded and at one with the earth. It is a way to express your love for Our Mother, and at the same time feel that love flow back into you. Your worries and your cares can be taken by the tree to be transformed into earth energy, much the way the tree transforms carbon dioxide into oxygen.

Choosing Your Tree

Unless you are the type that enjoys strange looks from passersby (and I have been known to be that type in my odder moments), finding a secluded tree might be your best bet. Your backyard, a seldom-used corner of the park, any of the thousands of trees in the woods will do.

A tree with a trunk at least the size of your own is good. A narrow tree like an aspen is a bit awkward and may leave you feeling as if you had hugged yourself (which is a good thing to do, as well, but we'll save that for another article). Getting poked in the chin by a sapling is no fun and will have the opposite effect of what we're going for here. A good, solid, "been around awhile" tree will serve the purpose. Find a tree that "sings" to you - that makes your heart swell.

The Actual Hugging

Approach the tree with honor and love. Wrap your arms around it and whisper endearments. Tell it of your woes, and let your stress run from you into the tree, knowing that the tree will transform that energy for more useful purposes. Feel the bark against your cheek, and know that we ARE all one, that this tree is your brother.

Advanced Tree-Hugging

If you are unable to find a secluded tree, you can sit with your back to a tree. Bring along a notebook and either let the tree serve as a muse and write or draw, or just doodle and pretend you're doing so. Send your stresses out your spine, and feel the energy flow through your back.

You will find, that if you make a regular practice of tree-hugging, that you feel more grounded, and more at peace with the world around you. Try it!

Our Christmas.

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 11:01:27 GMT

Last night Icelanders celebrated Christmass. Although I am a pagan, I still celebrate it as a family night. I look at it as a memory of childhood and since my parents and most of Iceland is christian, I join in, both for my daughter L (cause it is a lot of fun) and because I like the evening. It's all full of pagan symbology anyways.

We got ready and went over to my moms, where she dressed my daughter into a wonderfull christmass dress she bought in the USA this fall. She looked like an angel nothing less.

Then we had a wonderfull dinner and at the end there was rice pudding with a alamadelgift. Mom won the price and L helped her open the packet. It was a snowman decoration and mom tryed her best to give it to L but she insisted that my mom won the price so she should get it. She is so principled.

After eating way to much dinner as one is supposed to, we fell into the sofa to let it settle in and had coffee. Then L got to get the packets and brought them over to my dad who read the labels and then L would bring them to whoever ovned it. Needless to say most of the presents were for her :)

We all had such fun unwraping and seeing what we got.

After that we went to my mothers sisters house to dance around the christmas tree and then home.

All together it was a lovely night.

So to those who celibrate Christmass, Merry Christmass,
To those who celibrate Yule or Jól as we call it in Iceland, Happy Yule,
And to all the others, Happy Holidays or High winterseason.

My new motto...

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 22:57:32 GMT

Ok, so I'm trying a new way of getting myself to start using this livejournal more. I have woved to make an entry every day, and if I miss one I'll make two the next one. And if I have nothing to say I'll still post a random thing from the internet. I know I have made an entry for today but I saw this thing and had to try:

Your Birthdate: April 28

You have a Type A personality so big it makes other Type A's shrink away in shame.
You never shy away from adversity - and you love to tackle impossible problems.
Failure is not an option for you, and more than a few people are put off by your ego.
You tend to be controlling, and you hate leaving anything up to chance.

Your strength: Your bold approach to life

Your weakness: You don't accept help

Your power color: Bronze

Your power symbol: Pyramid

Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

So your task for today: tell me how well this fits me!

A good text...

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 14:16:09 GMT

taken from Carmilla Voiez

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.
Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

Instead of that bullshit, how about:

if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.

if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.

if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.

don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.

don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

If you agree, re-post it. It's that important.

OMFG....

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 01:58:34 GMT

Sitting at home dumbfounded. I fell asleep with my daughter tonight and then later she wakes me up saying, hi mom, look I'm pretty!!! I look at her and she is all oily and RED. I jmp out of bed saying, omg what were you doing? She points me to the sofa:

It took me 45 minutes to clean most of her, but the rest is all in red nailpolish.

I'm so shocked. This is the fourth time at least these last months she does somethng like this... I'm getting help tomorrow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, s I spent like 2 hours in shock and not able to look at the sofa...

then I tryed to sleep and the sofa hunted me... so I get my nerve to walk closer to it

and start cleaning...

40 min later this is the result..

The damages:

Possibly the sofa...

Body Shop Products: Eye Shimer 02 Gold Pressed Face Powder 01 Lip Balm Shimmer Vaves 01
Gosh: Effect Powder, COCO, GLAMOUR, RED N' HOT
Kanebo Powder
Stargazer 13 Eyedust
Lancome - Powder, Blank Neige Light Reflecting Compact 010

Nail polish all over the floor...

Makeup in the bed after she came t wake me up...

Bathtub red...

Userpic ...

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 20:26:09 GMT

Just did my first 100x100, not the masterpiece of the ages but a nice start, I'm, quite proud of myself :) It has a modified version of my favorite quote... hope it is legible.

Hurray

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 13:14:48 GMT

My new medication seems to be doing some good. This morning I got out of bed without any problems, went to work and had energy. I can see that my daughter likes it to. Jippei...

Update on the day...

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 16:25:58 GMT

Just wanted to update the day. I went out and terrified my friend Hydra to wakening. We talked for a while and then I went to the local mall with my daughter L. She went to a playcare there for 2 hours. I had coffee and listened to an audiobook. It was nice. Now we are home again, she eating ice and me feeling refreshed. Just wanted to tell the imaginary audience.

A comment reply that turned into an entry...

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 09:21:10 GMT

I was replying to everywordmeans, who commented on the latest entry and it turned into a full size entry so here it is:

Your'e always so sweet. And btw, this list of action could be from a how to handle depression brochure, so on spot. Thank you for commenting. Actually what I did after writing this was hanging about msn-messenger untill a friend of mine came online, saw the blog and dragged another friend along to my place. They helped me tidy up and one of them was with me watching tv until late. I felt wery loved, they were so obviosly over here to lighten my spirits. Not out of pity, but just because they are my friends and they felt fine to be around me even if I wasn't in my best form. Now that the livingroom is in great shape thanx to them, I might be able to get to some other tasks. Wow this is getting long. I think I'll need to post most of this as a new entry. But anyways, I'm feeling a lot better, not perfect but better. I draged myself out of bed now, which I think is better these days then sleeping in on weekends. Don't think my system can handle any fluctuations in rutine. So I made coffee, and we'll see how the day goes.

The definite change since I started my new drugs is that I actually get out of bed. And my first wakeup, even if I don't allways get out of bed then is around 8/9 ish, which is a healthy time.

One of these games....

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 20:09:15 GMT

Stealing this from flying_cheese who was stealing this from Manananananandy:

"IF YOU READ THIS, even if we DO SPEAK OR DON'T SPEAK OFTEN,
comment with one memory of me and you.
It can be anything you want.
GOOD OR BAD.
Just as long as it HAPPENED.
THEN, post this on your journal. see what other people remember about YOU.

(I'm not sure why the writer decided to use caps for random words, but whatever)"

So go on, show me that you're reading:)

Death of a friend...

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 20:04:21 GMT

Went down town for our gay parade day. Lots of happy people nice day. On my way home when I see my friends face plastered over the front page of a local newspaper. I look closer, he is always so much fun and full of talent, what is he up to now. The caption reads "The shadow of joy, Örn fell victim to prejudices " Sub-caption "Örn Jákub Dam Washington, Örn was only 25 when he died at his home on the 19th of July. He was voted Drag-queen of Iceland 1999 and often called Venus. Örn was tired of the prejudices he had fought from childhood." Örn was one of these guys that you look at and just can't believe how beautiful he is. He was half black and petite and just breathtaking. When he dressed up in drag he looked like the kind of girl you'd never have a shot at. I'm kind of crushed. Örn was a nice guy, kind and fun, and talented up to his curly hair. I just always took it for granted that he'd grow up to be a star or something. But he was black and gay and this world can't take that. So they crushed him. The labels were more important than the person it seems. And it is just sad, incredibly sad. Örn my dear, I hope you found the peace you were looking for and I am sure you'll come back as a graceful incarnation of some kind. I still wished you had stuck around, but it is to late now.

The cruelty of this world has now claimed two of my friends this summer. When will we learn to nurse live instead of going through it with our spears held high. We are the dominant species now, and it doesn't suit us.

At Hólar í Hjaltadal

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 13:56:48 GMT

Ahhhhh, what a great weekend:) We went to Akureyri and had a few blizzfull days there and are now at Hólar and chilling as never before... just wanted to tell you how good it has been... Will be home in 1-3 days.

Travel Travel, the wonders of borrowing a car

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 17:14:13 GMT

My dad let me have the car the other day, I've got it until next week. How wonderful. Next summer we will get one for ourselves.

Since I got the car I've been able to go out to the country to get some herbs I need for my potions, creams, lotions, teas and incenses. I got a good batch of Blágresi, Mjaðurt, Blóðberg , Rauðsmári and some others. This weekend I'm going to try to find some Fjalldalafífill for my friend Polle in Denmark. He makes mead from them. Great mead btw. Last weekend a student came for some relaxation and learning and we went camping the whole weekend. Started by going to Þingvellir and camped there for the night, then went on to Geysir, Gullfoss, Skógar and then camped by Hjorleifshöfði. where we had a learning session and grilled. The day after we begun by doing some Seid/Spá and then drove to Jökulsárlón. The trip was successful to say the least, and I think my student got what he needed. No better way to recharge then camping in Iceland. Had foreigners good weather the first day, good weather the following day and then a touch of the real Icelandic weather (cloudy, windy, chilly) and then good weather again the following day and fog on the way back. Basically I couldn't have ordered a better combination:) He got to see and feel the best and worst of the country, and we ate nothing but Icelandic food the whole way. Tomorrow I will be going to the north of the country with my boyfriend and my daughter for a few days. That will be uber nice.

Mmmmmmm....

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 23:59:59 GMT

Hrísgrjónavínið er goooootttt.....

Stole this from a friend...

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 23:42:33 GMT

I think these questions are interesting.

1 If you could "unknow" one thing you know, what would it be?

2 If you could have your portrait painted by any painter in history, to whom would you give the commission?

3 If you could have said one sentence to Hitler while he was alive, what would you have said?

4 If you could bomb (destroying entirely) any one building in the world without hurting any people, which would you blow up?

5 If you had to choose the worst song ever composed, which would it be?

6 If you had to sacrifice your life for one thing, what would it be?

7 if you absolutely had to turn to crime to support yourself from now on, what kind of criminal would you become?

8 If you could've witnessed any one spiritual (or religious, Biblical, etc,) event, what would you have liked to have seen?

9 If you could start a new rock band (and be guaranteed fame & fortune in your endeavor with it) what would you name it?

10 If you could choose your best sexual experience, what would it be?

11 If you could produce a film from any book never produced as a film, what book would you pick?

12 If you had to describe the saddest thing that ever happened to you, what would you talk about?

Babysitter heaven

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 13:40:29 GMT

Ok, I had this awful babysitter right? She spent her babysitting hours sms'ing and basically never said a word unless you squeezed it out of her. She came late, never learned from mistakes and came when it suited her. HORROR. Well so I found a new one, and my what a difference. She comes 10 min before she's supposed to, is polite, has conversations but stops them to hear what my daughter is saying. Helps me get her clothes on, and now when she was taking her to daycare she calls me to tell me that L doesn't want to be there cause she is the only one there and asks what to do. I tell her see if more kids come, see if she want's to stay and if not bring her home. No problem, shouldn't we stop at a playground on the way home so she gets to play a little? Ahh, what wonders a good babysitter can do for your spirits.

Better

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 12:23:31 GMT

Well the end of last night was better than it was headed. I ended up lying in the sofa under my covers and watching tv. On came a film about Cinderella from the stepsisters point of view. And it was light and silly enough to keep me with my low atenionspan active. After it I felt rested and just a bit better after resting my mind. So I went to bed feeling better. Overslept though, but now L has gone to the daycare so I have freedom until in the afternoon.

A bad day...

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 21:57:36 GMT

I've had a basically bad day. It started well though. Then my daughters grandma came to get her and I was home and started doing some house chores. Easy peasy, right? Not for me. I am a depression patient, and to tell you the truth I might have done about 6 things this week that can be categorized as household chores. The only category where I am really active is with my daughter. And it takes me the same kind of effort as for someone else to do six hours of hiking. My mind is constantly working against me, I have no interest, and when I master up some, my mind tells me I am exhausted. And it is convincing. So I started and in 5 hours I managed to pick up some clothes, put them into the washing machine, put some glases into the sink and I was done for. I then waited for my daughter to come back and went to my parents with her for dinner. Great meal, but I didn't enjoy it. I couldn't tell my mom how bad I was feeling and on my way home I called my bf and learned he won't be home until late tomorrow and will be leaving early thursday morning. That was it for me. Now I sit here feeling drained, depressed and hopeless. I know it will go away but I still feel this way. I am still waiting for my certificate so I can get my medicine. And they will take 4-6 weeks to work if they do. Life might get better tomorrow, but I feel like running away. Just getting some time to sit alone in a cabin and read some book. Forget the world for a while. Blerg.

RIP

Sat, 09 Jul 2005 20:39:40 GMT

My friend passed away last night. Her brainwaves stopped showing anything so she was unplugged of her life-support. Her boyfriend apparently went catatonic at the spot and was moved into the psychiatric ward, showing no responses at all. It was a shock, and I went a bit gaga. Had had a few drinks and was at a bar with Hydra. Some guy gave me a "What! Aren’t you having fun" push on the shoulder, and I totally snapped. Jumped him and had to be pulled of by my friends. At that time Hydra took me home. Smart move. Anyways we are still at home and I'm feeling better. My friend took my daughter out for the day so I've had rest.

It is weird how some things focus your thoughts. For some reason even though I'm sad, I am glad to that there is an end point here, no more waiting. And the events of the last few days have really shown me the worth of friends, and how truly lucky I am. The horror of the bombings brought out the best in every one of them. It is truly at times like these that you feel what is important and what is not. And even though my heart is breaking, it is also throbbing with an overwhelming sensation of being cared for. Which is something I am not used to. I really want to thank you all for your support.

Hydra especially, Love you hun, love you to pieces.

:)

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 21:01:54 GMT

London - 9/11 - WW3

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 12:25:31 GMT

When I heard of the 9/11 attacks I was 7 months pregnant with my precious daughter L. I remember how sure I was this was the beginning of WW3 and how terrified I was at the thought of giving birth to my daughter into that environment. I still am. Every time one of these bombings occurs, I jump right into that feeling. Every parent wants the best for their child and having known children that were brought up in the war in Bosnia; I know what it does to them. The feeling of utter helplessness comes over me at the thought of trying to protect her from the cruelty of this world. Yesterday when I was crying, after I heard about my friend in the hospital, she was jumping up and down singing and asking for an ice-cream. I wish it could stay that way.

London

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 01:54:30 GMT

Today I heard about the attacks in London and was terrified. I shortlisted all my known friends there, checked their status and felt like ok, no casualtys here. Sad though. I called my friend S and went over there cause she is heading to London next week, and has friends there. She was feeling anxious about some friends there, but slowly they checked in one by one. My daughter was comming home from her grandmas, so I headend home. Still feeling down a bit, but slowly feeling more steady. Sitting at home reading news about "the people in London". Then the phone rang. It was a friend of mine that for some reason I had forgotten had moved to London this spring. His fiance had been seriously injured in the bus. Or so I gathered. His words were "they say if she lives, she won't have much of a life". Numbness set in. I told S over the internet and she rushed over. Such a good friend. We sat here trying to get our heads organized and ended up watching silly movies to distract us. Don't really know how I feel or what, but wanted to write some of it away. Life is unpredictable.